Apocalyptic light

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When red clouds rest above the city,
I take deep breaths to not feel pity.
The buildings look needy,
The trees shady, spent, and flimsy.

The rain is ready, wants to burst,
More ferocious, full of lust.
A clumsy ray popped randomly,
Penetrating a cloud like laser,
Cutting its shine
Directly hitting me in the eye.

I flinched disturbed, not understanding this mistake,
This error of nature that was determined to inflict its force,
But, all of a sudden, it decided to reach up to me?

For a split second,
This warm beam of light, that was hidden in heavy, dark clouds
Calmed my anger, my rage
Exactly when I wanted to unleash my…

But now I’m disarmed, I got distracted,
And joy is sneaking up on me.

When I look up, the burdening clouds,
The darkness, and the cold are heavy,
Brutal like a murder.
I start feeling small and more confused than ever.

I ask myself, after being made afraid:
Where did that light come from?
It’s apocalyptic up there.

I start to run, to look for shelter,
Because I know once it will start,
No time for protection, just skelter.

But when I think I made it through,
My hand pressing the handle to get in,
I feel my heart rushing, and my knees like jello,
Slipping, falling, hitting my head.

Once I felt the wet, cold cement under my breath,
I knew it will all end,
Waiting for the kiss of death.

I simply surrender,
I am done,
No room for hope,
Nothing at all.

But why that light?