I was not raised to…

suffer

I was not raised to stand tall, or believe in myself.
I was not raised to have a voice or defend who I am.
No, I was raised to shut up,
To follow others and to please people,
And when I didn’t, I was a failure.

I was not raised to be brave or express my genuine emotions.
I was raised to speak the language of those who could understand it
Without making an effort.

When my life became a struggle,
Those who raised me shattered,
Blaming me for being in that situation.

I was not raised being prepared to get hit by a car,
But when I did,
I became panicked and unprepared to manage it all.
But I did.
How?

By making sure those I loved the most are comforted and calm.
Why?
Because I was not raised to inflict drama or unnecessary pain.
All I knew is that I must protect the ones around me,
Even if it meant second place for me.

I was raised like you, like others, following set rules,
Following society’s norm,
Not daring to be different
Even when I was a disabled.

Now I can walk, with pain, with heavy feelings,
But I can, I made it,
And I want, I long,
Oh so much, to dare become
The person I was born to be.