It’s all here… tracing it back. You can feel everything. Everything. It’s almost as if in your hands you can balance ‘good’ and ‘wrong’, not ‘bad’.
You’ve started as good, in all its purity and tenderness: eyes wide open, brain thirsty, and arms stretching to embrace the world.
Now, the background sounds are dissipating, lights get strangled and you feel ‘the nothing’. Wow, it has a power of its own and a meticulous plan. There’s no warmth in the room as the nothing approaches. It’s unlike the energy of a human presence because you can feel the exact moment and time it will sit in front of you. When you acknowledge that, you become awake, and deep sighs follow. Eyes turn smaller, brain gets lazy, and your arms feel heavy.
Once you know where you’re headed, the magic slips away, and you have to accept the harsh and cancerous truth: we are nothing in the grand scheme of things. We rent Earth for our temporary stay, having been fed with disillusionment that time is plenty – so we get bored. Fools!
We are too eager, and welcome our stay convinced that we can be everything, that we can change, that we can improve…and it’s true. But we get too comfortable. You know, it’s within our reach so we decide to do (guess!) n o t h i n g.
You can sip your coffee or tea, smoke from your cigarette and look in the distance (whatever that is) but we all know how little it matters and how temporary it all is.
Stress? Of course, our enemy and our suicidal creation. Yes! It’s on us. It’s our choice to have it, nourish it, blame it, hate it and accuse it for killing our precious time. It’s funny how we set our own traps , using our own poorly thought reasons. But, hey, we are the victims, and we want what’s best, right? For whom? For what? Please, answer me what is the ultimate reason? How much longer will we rent Earth to chaotically ruin, change, ‘rehabilitate’, and give purpose to nothing?
Maybe it all comes down to sleeping well at night… and tomorrow is full of possibilities, or is it? In the end it’s all about our own definition of what is real.